Review #1 - LIGHT HOUSE SHINES (25 février 1998)
Source : Peter Larkey's Advance Movie Reviews http://www.plur.ch/LHS/EATERSOFTHEDEAD.html

"Well to begin with I pray to God that the book is way better than the movie, as this film was unfortunately not all that good! Even though there was a lot of things I liked or wanted to like about this film in general. Such as the fact that I am a huge Antonio Banderas fan and will usually see anything that he has done. As I use to watch all of his Spanish language Almodovar films, which are by far his best work ever. So if you want to see something good from him, go check them out as his American films are real crap compared to his earlier works. Though be prepared as they are somewhat sexually risque as well as completely in Spanish and I know how some people hate to read subtitles. Which is actually something that this film needed, as Antonio Banderas plays a well to do up and coming Arab (I know it's just so ridiculas). Who, as a result of fooling around with one too many women in the royal palace, is sent away as an ambassador to far off nations. Specifically in this case to the far North. And I do mean the very far North, as in Vikings and all that (Which I believe was the original title of this film).
Which is where our story takes place, as Antonio's character meets a band of Norsemen who are basically just touring around on their Viking yacht, getting drunk and sleeping with a whole bunch of women. You know, typical Viking guy stuff! Who he attempts to communicate and trade with, as he is supposed to represent his homeland and kinsmen afterall. Even though he actually does a rather bad job of it right from the start, as he cannot speak their tongue and is constantly being disgusted by their Viking ways. As Antonio's character considers himself to be their superior in every way and makes no point of hiding it, which is where some of the films humor comes from. As well as from Omar Sheriff's small part as his gentleman servant and translator, as he speaks Latin as does one of the Vikings (Who I initially thought was actually Robert Patrick from TERMINATOR 2 fame, but I can't exactly be sure as they didn't have the credits finished in the screening I saw).
So after some awkward and comical scenes of the two very different groups trying to communicate with one another and Antonio or Ibn as he was called in the film, getting more and more repulsed every second. In comes some way off Norse King's youngest son. Who has been sent to deliver a message to the brave Norsemen about his small kingdom or village, that was under attack from a hideous and terrifying unseen enemy. So terrifying in fact that everyone who knew about it refused to say it's name, for fear it would be summoned as a result and smite them all dead where they stood (Vikings, go figure!). Hence upon hearing this news the Norsemen were to journey forth and protect this kingdom right away, which is what they eventually did. Though not before consulting their village's Oracle who informed them that 13 men and only 13 men must go, and that the 13th man mustn't be from the North... Which is how Ibn or Antonio got sucked into the whole deal.
So after what seemed to be an all too brief voyage since Ibn was miraculously able to learn their language during this time, Ibn and his fellow Vikings finally arrive in the small seemingly ransacked kingdom. Where they discover that almost all of the men have been killed in the night by some unseen force that eats it's victims flesh and takes their heads as trophies! Sufficiently motivation for our heroes who set themselves to the task of protecting what little remains of the once proud and prosperous kingdom, that is slowly being hunted and devoured for food by an enemy referred to merely as the "Eaters of The Dead". Who are nothing more than ugly men dressed up as bears with sharp spikes on clubs that they use to attack and rip their prey apart with.
Which brings us to some of the religious mythology that was introduced into this film was actually pretty fascinating, such as the fact that the Eaters of the Dead were supposedly the deformed children of Cain, the world's first murderer. Who was cursed by God for murdering his brother Able, and whose children were further punished to forever to live in the dark and wear the skins of animals. As well as the woman or mother in the cave who the Eaters of the Dead worshiped, as I believe she was supposed to be Lilith, Adam's first wife who was found to be unsuitable by God and banished from the Garden of Eden as such. Though this was actually never mentioned in teh film and maybe only a reference in the book if at all, as I haven't read it yet. Though it kind of makes sense in it's own way regardless of it having been said or explained outright. Along with several other mythological or religious aspects of this film were personally interesting to me, despite the fact that not too much was really explored in that regard. As the majority of the religious or mythological background information was simply there as an pseudo explanation as to why these creatures were constantly attacking this one particular village.
So after the remining Norsemen or Vikings consult the Oracle from the village they are pathetically attempting to protect, they all journey deep into the bowels of the Earth. Which is where the Eaters of the Dead's mother lives, attended only by a single female (Up until this point you don't see any other women at all who aren't from the Viking village or hamlet). Though both women are armed with poison darts and manage to stab the Vikings leader, who still manages to valiantly fight on. As the entire tribe is now hunting our heroes as they desperately try to make it back to the surface as they have no idea where they are or how to get out as the way they came in is now blocked. But as luck would have it Ibn's character finds an underground stream and they all dive into it and come up in a lake that is luckily nearby their adopted village. Where they tend to their wounded men and leader, who is not expected to make it through the night. But their rest is short lived as they are suddenly set upon by the Eaters of the Dead, who are apparently making a last ditch attempt to kill and eat the remaining villagers. Though their efforts are futile, as they have apparently lost their will to fight as well as their will to live now that their (Earth) mother has been killed. As they soon turn back from the fight and kill themselves en mass. Yep, you heard me correctly! They all kill themselves just within sight of the villagers, thus comes and end to the attacks once and for all and our heroes can return to their homeland. At least the ones who are still alive, as I think only 7 people are alive at this point. Though one of them decides to remain in the village, the one who I think is played by Robert Patrick, as he has meet a nice village waif and wants to become a farmer or something. Though Ibn's character, despite the fact that he has been having sex with some other village waif, is still anxious to get back to his homeland and a life more civilized. Though he is forever changed by the experience as he seems to me wiser, more mature, and less arrogant and so we are lead to believe. As the film ends with him writing his memoirs and making a room full of generals wait for him as he finishes. Not exactly a great ending to a so so film, but then again films made from books are never as good, which really is a shame!"

Addenda :
"Just a littler editor's note for all of you who have seen the finished version of this film, and/or are reading this review. I saw this film roughly 2 years before it ever came out theatrically, and as such the version I saw is greatly different from the one you may have seen. In fact the film might actually be somewhat decent now, though I do not know for sure since I still have not bothered to see the finished version. Either way I do know that the mass suicide scene was taken out of the final version of the film, so all of my comments about that part of the film are essential invalid now. Along with a few other comments I made, especially in reference to which actors played what parts. As I know that Robert Patrick was never in the film, there is just someone in the film that looked like him. Hence I referred to the actor as such, though beyond that there shouldn't be too many other changes or inconsistances between what I saw/reviewed and what you may have seen."